Birthday Cards!

Birthday cards for friends who are aging faster than they'd like. Blank inside for your own insults.

  • Greeting card printed with “Happy Birthday! Your gift this year is ME. Your membership has been renewed.”
    Greeting card printed with “Happy Birthday! Your gift this year is ME. Your membership has been renewed.”, additional view

    Your gift this year is ME... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “Over 30 skin care routine: splash warm water on face, pat dry, bury face in pillow, scream fuuuuck as loud as…”
    Greeting card printed with “Over 30 skin care routine: splash warm water on face, pat dry, bury face in pillow, scream fuuuuck as loud as…”, additional view

    Over 30 skin routine... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “Some bitches always have to dress super slutty and drink way too much whenever someone has a birthday party.”
    Greeting card printed with “Some bitches always have to dress super slutty and drink way too much whenever someone has a birthday party.”, additional view

    It's me. I'm bitches... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “The average person consumes 9 alcoholic drinks per week. Once again you and I are above average. Happy…”
    Greeting card printed with “The average person consumes 9 alcoholic drinks per week. Once again you and I are above average. Happy…”, additional view

    We're way above average... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “Thank you for not being one of those bitches who celebrates her birthday for the entire week. Happy Birthday!”
    Greeting card printed with “Thank you for not being one of those bitches who celebrates her birthday for the entire week. Happy Birthday!”, additional view

    Week long birthdays... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “The real challenge of being in your 30s is learning how to get drunk without getting drunk drunk.”
    Greeting card printed with “The real challenge of being in your 30s is learning how to get drunk without getting drunk drunk.”, additional view

    Drunk in your 30's... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “Reaching our age means being absolutely horrified when you learn the birth year of anyone younger than you.”
    Greeting card printed with “Reaching our age means being absolutely horrified when you learn the birth year of anyone younger than you.”, additional view

    Reaching our age means... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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  • Greeting card printed with “Everyone hates when people sing Happy Birthday to them. And everyone hates singing it. So what the fuck are we…”

    Happy Birthday Song... Birthday Card

    $6.00
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